TORPY: Red, White and Blueland? The ambient sounds of Trump bootlicking

The abject brownnosing ranges from small-time pols all the way up to JD Vance, the fellow who is now our vice president. At a 2022 rally when Vance was running for the U.S. Senate in Ohio, Trump stood with him in front of the crowd and said: “JD is kissing my ass he wants my support so much.”

Vance, a proud Marine, stood nearby like an eager puppy. Forget the humiliation, it worked.

It’s become sort of a sport of who can be the most cartoonishly Trumpy and sycophantic.

My favorite take on the phenomenon is an internet meme of U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz, the Texas firebrand, looking all angry and defiant and saying: “Mr. Trump, if you say one more thing about my wife … well, then, I’ll kiss the other cheek.”

And he didn’t mean the cheek near his sideburns.

Now comes Buddy Carter, a congressman from Georgia’s coast, entering into the Greenland absurdity, where the president has mentioned that he might like to make the big island our own.

Carter has introduced a bill to allow Trump to not only go after acquiring Greenland, but he also wants to give it a new name: “Red, White and Blueland.”

Now, on my Silly Meter, which reads 1-10, this effort rings in at 12.2. It’s even dumber and more obsequious than the “Make Greenland Great Again Act,” being pushed by some of Carter’s brethren.

Normally, one would view this kind of activity as trolling, as a way to own the libs. But Carter, who is deeply conservative, hasn’t been that kind of politician.

From my reading, and from others who know him better, he’s a serious, cordial and even reasonable fellow. In fact, when my son Michael died a few years ago, he was kind enough to read a remembrance of him from the House floor. I’m thankful for that.

And he’s no dummy. He was smart enough to get through pharmacy school, is a successful businessman and one of the richest members of Congress, a club with few poor members.

I was told Carter was in budget hearings and not available to speak. But in an earlier statement, he said: “America is back and will soon be bigger than ever with the addition of Red, White, and Blueland. We will proudly welcome (Greenland’s) people to join the freest nation to ever exist.”

What he really meant was, “Boy, I sure hope our brilliant and magnanimous leader notices me and supports my campaign if I run for Senate.”

Carter, like most pols, is ambitious and would love to get a job promotion, eyeing the seat currently occupied by U.S. Sen. Jon Ossoff, who’s up for reelection in 2026.

Carter has said he is waiting to see if Gov. Brian Kemp jumps into that race. If Kemp, who got some Trump love when he first ran for governor in 2018, decides not to run then Carter wants to be positioned as Trump’s guy.

The congressman wanted to run for U.S. Senate in 2022 but deferred to Trump’s candidate, Herschel Walker, who was probably the only Republican in Georgia who could lose to Raphael Warnock, our other Democratic senator.

So why not line up Trump’s support early?

I called state Sen. Josh McLaurin, a Dem who has a couple of vantage points into the Trump subservience syndrome. First, he was once Vance’s roommate at Yale Law School. Second, he wrangled with his GOP colleagues in the state Senate last year when they wanted to create Georgia car license plates with the tagline “America First.”

Credit: Courtesy Georgia Senate video feed

Credit: Courtesy Georgia Senate video feed

McLaurin, being sort of a truth-in-advertising guy, put forth an amendment to the bill changing “America First” to “Donald Trump First.” He said his change would reflect “the heart and the spirit of the legislation.” His amendment failed, although it did get some GOP support.

Senate Majority Leader Steve Gooch, the bill’s author, said it was about the country, not Trump.

“If you’re not a patriot and you’re not for unity in this country and supporting what’s good for our nation, hit the red button,” Gooch told his colleagues, referring to voting “no.” “If you want to put our nation first and make America a priority, hit the green button.”

The bill passed along party lines but died in the state House, which has become the more moderating of the two chambers.

McLaurin created a hubbub in 2022 when his old roomie was running for U.S. Senate. McLaurin released some texts that they exchanged in 2016 when Trump was getting traction in the primaries. Vance worried that Trump might be “America’s Hitler.”

Vance weathered that cloudburst with his constant fawning.

“For some of these guys, it’s abjectly embarrassing,” McLaurin said. “The road behind Trump is littered with the carcasses of those who thought they could use him to get ahead. The people tying themselves to Trump are sacrificing something.

“I wish my old roommate would have waited for the Trump movement to pass,” McLaurin said. “I think he could have been a leader of the independent conservative movement. But he’s taking a shortcut. And history won’t look kindly at his followers.”