Positive self-talk is a great tool for personal growth, as well as overcoming mood disorders. It can take the form of affirmations, internal dialogue or prayer. You can choose the method that works best for you.
The use of affirmations became very popular in the 1980s with the help of “You Can Heal Your Life,” by author and publisher Louise Hay. Affirmations are short statements about how you want to improve or are improving yourself. A well-used one is “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.” This one has been around forever, but there are millions more, like “I enjoy perfect health” or “I am overcoming my fears.” You can even make up your own. Repeating these statements many times throughout the day might change the way you think and feel.
Yes, this positive self-talk works, and, no, you cannot expect your life to get better by just saying it will. But daily affirmations will help you take the actions necessary to accomplish your goals.
Another method of positive self-talk is to have a conversation with yourself about your behavior. For example, if you’ve been avoiding something as a means of self-protection, you can remind yourself you no longer need to protect yourself the way you’ve been doing and you are safe in the world you have created. You can tell yourself you are now in control of your life. You are not a victim, and you have the strength to deal with any situation, even if it causes you some anxiety.
This kind of internal dialogue can serve to make you stronger, help you be more of the person you want to be and build greater confidence. The more you do it, the better you will feel. I am not saying every thought be focused on your own personal growth, but rather suggesting you take some time, every day, to give yourself a good talking to. The effects are pretty quick and last as long as you continue the process.
Another positive internal dialogue is simply telling yourself you are and have been more than OK over the long term and whatever is vexing you at the moment will pass. Often when we get upset, we lose perspective and tend to forget how we have prevailed in the past. If you can recall what you have had to overcome, it will give you the power to believe in yourself again and get over your current hurtle.
Many people use the power of prayer to help them overcome their difficulties. Studies have shown that people who are ill and pray or have people pray for them actually do heal faster. You don’t have to be religious or to attend a place of worship to pray. You can simply talk to the god of your own understanding and receive some spiritual support. By praying, you are also talking to yourself and telling your subconscious what it is you need.
Regardless of what method you use, focusing on the positive is better than focusing on all the negative stuff that has happened to you or may be going on in the world.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning psychotherapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of eight books, and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with more than 35 million readers. He is available for in-person and video consults worldwide. You can reach him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com
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