Good friends are worth the effort

If you are feeling low and can’t bring yourself to go anywhere, pick up the phone and call a good friend. It will make you feel better about your life — and yourself.

Hearing the voice of someone you care about and spending a few minutes getting involved in their world can give you a new outlook on life. Making this positive emotional connection may be just what you need to get moving again.

Friendship is highly underrated. It can make the difference between a life of joy and one of depression. For someone who is dealing with acute anxiety, however, making friends can seem next to impossible because the fear that comes with anxiety can cripple you and make you incapable of reaching out to someone else.

To get past this, there are a few things you can do.

Get in touch with an old friend. Knowing that you can call and count on someone to be there for you can be empowering and a great comfort. If there is no one in your life like that at the moment, think back to who has supported you in the past. What happened to that person or those people? Maybe it’s time to rekindle those relationships, and you can do it from the privacy of your own home by simply sending an email or a text. It doesn’t have to be long or dramatic — just a quick “Hello!” to begin the reconnection process.

If you want to have a friend, learn to be a friend. Giving what you want to receive is the best way to show someone how good a friend you can be. People usually like us because we like them, so let another person know that you’d like to be friends. Most people don’t discuss their friendships unless something has gone wrong but by establishing that you are friends, you will let the positive emotions sink in.

Be around people who don’t judge you and who support you. Having others in your life who accept you for who you are is important. Feeling judged can be painful. You need to take the risk of trusting another person and opening up. Letting out your feelings to a trusted ally is good therapy as well.

Share what’s going on in your life. You will feel stronger in just knowing that someone really understands you. The best friends are good listeners. When you’ve received confirmation that what you are dealing with is real and that your emotions are appropriate to what’s happening, you will feel better about yourself.

Happiness can come from knowing you have good people in your life. If you don’t have a family of your own, reach out to your friends. All you need to do is pick up the phone or send a note to someone you can trust. Your friendships will grow naturally and your life will be lifted by it.

Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. is an award-winning psychotherapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of 8 books, and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with over 35 million readers. He is available for in-person & video consults worldwide, reach him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com.

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