Is motherhood for me? Experts help navigate the trending uncertainty

Women have cited fears of increased responsibility, a possible lack of support and not wanting to change their lifestyle or sense of freedom as some of the many reasons for this purported shift, CNN reported in 2023. Growing fears of childbirth have also been fueled by social media, especially surrounding maternal health.

“You don’t design your life over the exception, you design it over the rule, and as a rule, pregnancy is pretty safe,” Ky Lindberg — vice president of community engagement at the Georgia Health Initiative and former CEO at the Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition of Georgia — told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

Credit: TNS

Credit: TNS

Deciding whether or not to become a mother is a completely personal experience, however, making sure you are informed of the changes and challenges you will likely experience is helpful no matter what path you choose.

We asked some of the tough questions to hopefully help you make the best decision — for you.

How does motherhood affect your health?

Pregnancy can transform your body, but some are unaware of the internal changes that can also occur and may not present themselves until later in life.

Forty percent of all maternal morbidity cases are tied to cardiovascular health issues that arise during pregnancy, according to Dr. Michele Voeltz, who specializes in interventional cardiology at Northside Hospital. Preeclampsia, in particular, affects expecting mothers every day, and complications can last long after the baby is born.

Credit: Northside Hospital

Credit: Northside Hospital

“Preeclampsia is related to the interaction between the placenta, the fetal blood vessels and the maternal blood vessels. So in order to create a healthy placenta, we have to have healthy vasculature,” Voeltz explained to the AJC. “And in preeclampsia, we do not create a healthy placenta, and that’s what leads to a lot of the complications, the high blood pressure and the organ damage.”

According to the Mayo Clinic, preeclampsia occurs most often in pregnancies with more than one fetus or when the mother has chronic high blood pressure or type 1 or type 2 diabetes. Several studies have also shown an increased risk in Black and indigenous women.

“If you have had preeclampsia in even one pregnancy, you’re about 1.7 times more likely to have cardiovascular death, and that’s all the way out until you’re 60 years old,” Voeltz said. “So it’s not that these things are a one-off. This is a lifelong risk.”

Many of the cardiovascular health problems that present themselves through pregnancy — such as high blood pressure or being prediabetic — existed before pregnancy but in a less dangerous capacity. Bringing these things under control will likely make the pregnancy a safer, smoother experience and put your body in the best possible position for these changes.

How does motherhood affect your finances?

It can feel like the price of everything is more expensive today, and nowhere is that complaint more pronounced than among parents.

A recent study found that it costs $201,058 to raise a child from infant to 18 years old in Georgia, and families now spend 22.6% of their incomes on child-related expenses. The prices for childcare have also risen dramatically, with the average price in Georgia coming out to about $11,000 annually.

But the Peach State has many resources for young and struggling families, all waiting to be claimed.

“I could name resources until I’m blue in the face, so if you don’t know any, use Google or call (me),” Lindberg said.

Pickles and Ice Cream Georgia is a project of Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies Coalition in Georgia. The online platform provides free information on maternal and infant health care for families, including videos and classes.

Help Me Grow Georgia is a free, confidential access point for health care referrals, and United Way, or 211, can also provide families with essential community services.

The Georgia Department of Public Health and the Georgia Prenatal Center both serve as constant resources for young families in Georgia, Lindberg says.

“As someone who’s had children when I didn’t have a lot of money and had children when I got a little bit more (money), I have equal happiness and engagement with my babies now as when I was shopping at the Goodwill.”

How does motherhood change your life?

For many of the women who find themselves waffling between the decision to come a parent, several of the apprehensions surround how it will impact the quality of their lives.

Whether it’s concerns about work-life balance or a shift in social life, Lindberg recommends people look at their lives like a pie chart and decide what values are most important to them. After the decision is made, she encourages women to lean on their villages to get through the especially hard moments.

“I did have preeclampsia. I did have postpartum depression,” Lindberg shared. “And yet, I still stand here today because I had such a strong village to support me.”

In a recent AJC article, a Georgia mother shared how she tackles the mental load that comes with motherhood — juggling her career, marriage and two kids.

Helpful tips? Set up a schedule, block out “me time” and let go of the idea that you have to do it all alone.

How can you advocate for yourself?

Advocating for yourself is another way to take your body and mind through the process of motherhood more efficiently. But it can be tricky to find the words.

For Lindberg, she felt “unseen” and “disrespected” at points during her first pregnancy and did not know how to speak up.

“In my first pregnancy, I didn’t come from a family that informed me of all the things that I needed to know when becoming a new mom, and I felt like all I needed to do was listen to my doctor,” Lindberg said. “I kept my mouth shut because I figured, well, these are the professionals.”

E’Laina Craven, who gave birth to her daughter, Cherry, in April 2024, was diagnosed with preeclampsia during the first trimester. She suggests women educate themselves on everything they can, whether it’s hospital protocols or different medical complications.

“If having a baby is a goal, really, really, just do your research,” Craven said. When you understand more about the process, you are able to stay calm when complications arise, she explained.

While doctors are the experts, understanding your own body is key to advocating for yourself as a medical patient. Know your medical history, be informed and stay proactive.

“Having a healthy baby is an amazing goal, but in addition to having a healthy baby, we want that baby to have a healthy mom in the long term,” Voeltz said.