Change is inevitable. Loved ones die, jobs end and relationships dissolve. But people are also promoted, couples marry and babies are born.
What people don’t realize is that positive change can be just as challenging to navigate as negative ones. Here are some practical tips for adjusting to change, whether good or bad, to help make life a little easier.
- When a good change appears, accept it with grace. You may not believe you deserve it, or you just may not be ready for it, but the only way to move forward and get the most out of it is to embrace the positivity, however it shows up.
- When a negative change is looming, start looking for other options before it actually happens, if you can. For example, if you know your company is in trouble and you are hearing things that are making you feel insecure, don’t wait to get laid off, but start looking for another job. Even if your current position is not threatened, you will have gained valuable experience and maybe a better gig.
- Change is constant, so we usually don’t notice little or expected changes, but getting caught off guard can be discombobulating. The trick is to know that this is just one among millions of changes, good or not so good, that will happen in your life. Do what you can to just roll with it.
- Emotional changes can be the hardest to adjust to. For example, when your heart gets broken, finding acceptance is not always easy. You may not have the strength or understanding to be objective. In cases like this, you need to process your feelings — and this can take some time.
- When you start to develop feelings for another person, everything can feel different. Generally, people who are falling in love see the world through a new lens, and it’s easy to get swept up in the feelings and ignore everyday responsibilities. Savor the connection, but don’t lose sight of the day to day.
- Take responsibility for how you deal with changes. One of my mentors, Dr. Albert Ellis, once said, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”
- If the changes in your life feel overwhelming, you don’t have to deal with them all by yourself. Friends, family, support groups and counselors are available, and you can reach out and ask for help. You don’t have to suffer alone. The love of those who care for you can make life much easier to deal with.
- If you are someone who hates change, then you have to at least learn to tolerate it. There’s no law saying that you have to enjoy what’s going on, but you do have to find a way to cope — like it or not.
Life can be difficult to navigate in our fast-moving society. Things are changing so quickly these days that by the time you’ve opened the box of your new cellphone, it’s probably out of date.
But change itself is nothing new, and going with the flow might still be the most comfortable way to deal with the future.
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an award-winning psychotherapist and humanitarian. He is also a columnist, the author of eight books and a blogger for PsychologyToday.com with nearly 35 million readers. He is available for in-person and video consults worldwide, reach him at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com.
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